By Way of Tribute to Rich...

..I'm posting a radio commercial I wrote some time ago. (Yeah, I'm buying time until I can collect my thoughts about the last couple of weeks.)

RIT-A-CHEW RADIO SPOT

Announcer: It’s an old and familiar story . . .

(Johnny is jumping up and down, making noise and being generally hyper)

TEACHER: Johnny, why won’t you pay attention in class?

JOHNNY: Teacher, I’m sorry. I forgot my Ritalin this morning.

TEACHER: Well, here—have this.

JOHNNY: Gum? We can’t chew gum in class.

TEACHER: It’s not gum. It’s RIT-A-CHEW!

ANNOUNCER: Tired of hyper kids bursting your bubble? Give them a rest, and yourself peace of mind. Give them RIT-A-CHEW!

CHORUS (singing): If your kids aren’t cooperating,

Having trouble concentrating,

Then get them masticating—

Give them RIT-A-CHEW!

TWO WEEKS LATER

TEACHER: Johnny, your grades are so much better!

JOHNNY (slowly, almost sluggishly): Yeah, teacher—Thanks to RIT-A-CHEW, my mind is a steel trap!

ANNOUNCER: So teachers, give yourself a lift by bringing them down to earth—Plug ‘em up with RIT-A-CHEW.

Disclaimer: This product will never be approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

Script: Terry Foraker
Music : Konstantin Kuzyayev

Lyrics: Konstantin Kuzyayev and Terry Foraker